Author: Melissa Payne

You do not have to be good.You do not have to walk on your kneesfor a hundred miles through the desert repenting.You only have to let the soft animal of your bodylove what it loves...Mary Oliver I grew up in a subculture, a religious one, that taught me desire was something to be cautious about, … Continue reading To Desire

When I used to train for long distance races, I was always amazed at how much my body could actually endure. My cross country coach, along with the running articles I would read, would always remind me that the endurance game is primarily mental. I believe the ratio is something like 90% mental and 10% … Continue reading Cultivating Endurance

The final day of 2020. I took some time to sit with the events and moments of the last twelve months, and though this year will be an unforgettable one for many reasons, I noticed myself write that this was the "year of resilience". And I do think that’s true. It has been a couple … Continue reading The year of Resilience

When I think about despair I can't help but hear the words of Marilla Cuthbert's from Canada's beloved Anne of Green Gable's, "to despair is to turn your back on God". This has never sat right with me. Frankly, I identified more with Anne. Full of wholehearted emotion and declaration of being in "the depths … Continue reading Despair

Longing is the thirst that never quite feels quenched. It is the salivating for and anticipation of satisfaction and completeness. Longing urges us toward something. It is energy. You can feel it, we all feel it. If we pay attention we can hear its name. This is what the great love stories are made of. Be it … Continue reading Longing

"Too often people try to change their lives by using the will as a kind of hammer to beat their life into proper shape.  The intellect identifies the goal of the program, and the will accordingly forces the life into shape. This way of approaching the sacredness of one's own presence is externalistic and violent. If you work with a … Continue reading Rhythms

Today I turn thirty. It is wild, weird, and very welcomed. I know for some, turning thirty may carry varying emotions and questions and fears. And that’s okay. There is no "right" way to feel when approaching your birthday, or a new decade or a new anything for that matter. But if I am completely honest, I … Continue reading Welcoming my 30’s. Thanking my 20’s.

I was first introduced to the concept of "Non-Attachment" by my spiritual director a number of years ago. She often would encourage me to sit with my desire and take a posture of openness and non-attachment to the outcome. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? Being a high feeler while also deeply analytical, there has been a … Continue reading Let it Be: A Practice of Non-Attachment

My writing partner and I decided to write on "Everyday life" before COVID 19 became what it is. At first I wondered if we should change the theme considering the global pandemic we all find ourselves in, but it really does seem fitting, doesn't it? It is difficult to write on this topic without at … Continue reading Everyday Life

I sit in my little corner chair, nestled in between two bookshelves today, and have been trying to ground myself in the midst of a week that, if I am completely honest, has been a bit of an internal fog. Like all of us, sometimes our harder and darker days are situational, and some just … Continue reading Moving through the Dark